Stone Runs Away With Moses’ Clothes

Yes, a common stone – as in a rock! I suppose it grew legs??

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 5, Number 277: Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, ‘The (people of) Bani Israel used to take bath naked (all together) looking at each other. The Prophet Moses used to take a bath alone. They said, ‘By Allah! Nothing prevents Moses from taking a bath with us except that he has a scrotal hernia.’ So once Moses went out to take a bath and put his clothes over a stone and then that stone ran away with his clothes. Moses followed that stone saying, “My clothes, O stone! My clothes, O stone! till the people of Bani Israel saw him and said, ‘By Allah, Moses has got no defect in his body. Moses took his clothes and began to beat the stone.” Abu Huraira added, “By Allah! There are still six or seven marks present on the stone from that excessive beating.”

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “When the Prophet Job (Aiyub) was taking a bath naked, golden locusts began to fall on him. Job started collecting them in his clothes. His Lord addressed him, ‘O Job! Haven’t I given you enough so that you are not in need of them.’ Job replied, ‘Yes!’ By Your Honor (power)! But I cannot dispense with Your Blessings.’ “

Source:
http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/005.sbt.html
- Islamic sources is filled with attribution of human-like consciousness to trees, plants, animals, rocks, human body parts, rivers, or even to things like a minbar (podium)

 

Muslim Wife Can Not Refuse Sex

Angels Hover Over Women All Night Cursing Them if They Don’t Feel Like Having Sex with Their Husband

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 4, Book 54, Number 460: Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning.”

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/bukhari/054.sbt.html#004.054.460

* So angels stay and hover over a woman who doesn’t feel like sex all night curing her. Sex no matter what! Got a headache? Too bad, you must have sex! … Broken arm? Too bad, you must have sex! … Sick? Too bad, you must have sex! … Mother died last night? Too bad, you must have sex

.

Islam’s Beast of the Earth

According to many hadith and tafseer, there will be a talking beast that will appear on the earth. In summary, this beast will among other things:

1. - Be over 100′ tall (hard to tell, but it is extremely tall)
2. - Have the head of a bull,
3. - Have eyes of a pig
4. - Have elephant ears
5. - Horns
6. - An ostrich neck
7. - Chest of a lion
8. - Color of a tiger
9. - Legs of a camel.
10. Carry the staff of Moses (Musa) and the ring of Solomon

So this extremely tall beast with a bull’s head and ostrich neck will be carrying around the relatively tiny ring of Solomon and Staff of Moses and travel the entire earth tapping all the Muslims on the head.

I found this drawing that tries to somewhat replicate this beast. However, it left off the ostrich neck. See it below the fold

Muhammad Had Sex With 9 Year Old

No matter how much I tried to rationalize this, I just could not. I have an 11 year old daughter and there is no way she’s ready to have sex. This is just disturbing on any level. It is inexcusable. That man had sex with a little girl that was playing with dolls

Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64:

Narrated ‘Aisha:

that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nine years (i.e., till his death).

http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/bukhari/062.sbt.html#007.062.064

From Sahih Muslim:

‘A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) married her when she was seven years old, and she was taken to his house as a bride when she was nine, and her dolls were with her; and when he (the Holy Prophet) died she was eighteen years old.

http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/muslim/hadith/muslim/008.smt.html#008.3311

Drink Camel Urine

FROM SAHIH BUKHARI ,  Volume 1, #234

1.234:  Narrated Abu Qilaba:

Anas said, “Some people of ‘Ukl or ‘Uraina tribe came to Medina and its climate did not suit them.  So the Prophet ordered them to go to the herd of (Milch) camels and to drink their milk and urine (as a medicine).  So they went as directed and after they became healthy, they killed the shepherd of the Prophet and drove away all the camels.  The news reached the Prophet early in the morning and he sent (men) in their pursuit and they were captured and brought at noon.  He then ordered to cut their hands and feet (and it was done), and their eyes were branded with heated pieces of iron.  They were put in ‘Al-Harra’ and when they asked for water, no water was given to them.”  Abu Qilaba said, “Those people committed theft and murder, became infidels after embracing Islam and fought against Allah and His Apostle .”

 

Muhammad Said The Devil Sleeps in Your Nose and Urinates in Your Ear

Satan sleeps in your nose overnight — Volume 4, Book 54, Number 516:

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “If anyone of you rouses from sleep and performs the ablution, he should wash his nose by putting water in it and then blowing it out thrice, because Satan has stayed in the upper part of his nose all the night.”

Satan urinates in people’s ears — Volume 4, Book 54, Number 492:

Narrated ‘Abdullah: It was mentioned before the Prophet that there was a man who slept the night till morning (after sunrise). The Prophet said, “He is a man in whose ears (or ear) Satan had urinated.”

Tafseer: Earth On A Whale’s Back Or Something

Ibn Abbas, in his tafseer (explanation) of the Qur’an, makes many ridiculous claims, including in his explanation of Sura “nun” that the earth is on the back of a whale. That may not have seemed so ridiculous over a millennium ago, but now we know better. However, many fundamentalist Muslims still insist on using these interpretations since Ibn Abbas is from the salaf and hence is from the “best of mankind“:

 

---

TAFSIR IBN ABBAS (Please verify original at this link)

And from his narration on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas that he said regarding the interpretation of Allah’s saying (Nun): ‘(Nun) He says: Allah swears by the Nun, which is the whale that carries the earths on its back while in Water, and beneath which is the Bull and under the Bull is the Rock and under the Rock is the Dust and none knows what is under the Dust save Allah. The name of the whale is Liwash, and it is said its name is Lutiaya’; the name of the bull is Bahamut, and some say its name is Talhut or Liyona. The whale is in a sea called ‘Adwad, and it is like a small bull in a huge sea. The sea is in a hollowed rock whereby there is 4,000 cracks, and from each crack water springs out to the earth. It is also said that Nun is one of the names of the Lord; it stands for the letter Nun in Allah’s name al-Rahman (the Beneficent); and it is also said that a Nun is an inkwell. (By the pen) Allah swore by the pen. This pen is made of light and its height is equal to the distance between Heaven and earth. It is with this pen that the Wise Remembrance, i.e. the Guarded Tablet, was written. It is also said that the pen is one of the angels by whom Allah has sworn, (and that which they write (therewith)) and Allah also swore by what the angels write down of the works of the children of Adam, (Tanwîr al-Miqbâs min Tafsîr Ibn ‘Abbâs)